Change is Good...Even When It's Bad

Change is one of the most uncomfortable and pushed against human experiences. Most people just don’t like change. Change of any type causes one thing or many, many things to be viewed through a different lens and even though this feels uncomfortable, it is a good thing if we will open ourselves to find the good and seek out the opportunities.

There are two types of change – unexpected and self-initiated. Neither is necessarily any easier, one is certainly more shocking, both can benefit an individual by way of learning more about themselves and the world around them. Any change can open doors that were closed, ignored or perhaps even previously undiscovered.

Unexpected change usually comes from outside of us – minor things like a different postman who comes at 4:00pm instead of at 10:00am, or a bank that suddenly starts charging a service fee, or our favorite lunch place closes. Major things - someone dies or gets very sick suddenly, a spouse or partner says they’re leaving, a disaster destroys a home. Even things with a global scope - the economy stumbles, a trusted entity fails, a war is waged. Countless situations can come up, affecting us closely or from a distance, catching us by surprise and leaving us on shaky ground. We may have had some part in it. We may have had no say in it. No matter, adjust or perish. The feelings run the spectrum from uncomfortable to devastating. The difference to anyone in a situation of change will be based on whether they stand still or move and if they react or if they respond. Throwing one-sided logic and emotion into the mix adds another layer of confusion and fear.

Self-initiated change can be just as difficult. You may know you need to leave an abusive relationship. You may know you need to re-invent your business. You may know you need to lose a hundred pounds to live. Knowing those things doesn’t make taking action any more comfortable.

When things stay the same, even if they’re not the best they can be, we feel a sense of security. We have a routine. We’re used to feeling the way we feel even if we don’t feel good. We’re used to the people around us even if they’re not nice. We’re used to the work we do or the business we run even if it’s not what we really want. We’re used to having our own brand of drama to deal with every day. We can be as unhappy as a person can be with our regular daily activities right up to the point where change is introduced – then all of a sudden everything seemed perfect and wonderful the way it used to be.

I am a decorated veteran of change – as the Changer and the Changee. I’m still surprised when change comes into my life, and I still kick and scream and push against it for an appropriate scale and amount of tantrum time. Then I think about the ways I help others manage change and try to apply that to myself. And kick and scream some more :-) No matter the change, no matter who or what or why, it really is what you want to take away from the change that will be the difference maker in a successful, happy life. It’s nothing more than a decision. Once you make the decision to deal with it, you’re on your way. It’s when you avoid dealing with change that you’ll find trouble in some form or another.

Reaction to change is human nature. Response to change is a decision you make in favor of yourself. If change has been thrust upon you in your life, throw a tantrum appropriate to the situation, get over it and take the opportunity to think about how to make things better for yourself instead of how to get them back to the way they were. Although change is difficult, there is no prize for standing still.

It’s not just the Pollyanna attitude of “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. It’s also about “when the bird of paradise is doing its business on your head, you’d be wise to move out from under the shelter of the tree”.

When you're finished changing, you're finished.
- Benjamin Franklin